UK: David Cameron Tries to Stub out Labour Attack over Cigarette Packaging

Source from:  The Guardian (uk)  07/16/2013

It wasn't as bad as last week, but it came close. Amid the wall of noise – well, the wobbly wooden fence of noise – David Cameron adopted a policy of unremitting attack. He assailed "the completely useless leader … of a divided and weak party", and he wasn't talking about his own lot.

Ed Miliband was greeted by an enormous cheer, which would have been encouraging if most of the noise hadn't been made by sarcastic Tories. He did his best but seemed to falter under the assault. He resembled a startled bull which has been savaged by the matador.

He had some good lines. Cameron was "the prime minister for Benson and hedge funds". It was Andy Coulson all over again: "The prime minister thinks the rules do not apply to him. He always stands up for the wrong people."

But there was no escape from the roaring, bruising, contemptuous, bellowing, red-faced premier. Why, some of the time you'd almost imagine he meant it!

This display of aggression, like having the All Blacks' haka in your face for 33 minutes, almost concealed the one important fact on Labour's charge sheet. Cameron did not deny that he had discussed the plain packaging of cigarettes with Lynton Crosby, the Australian election wizard who also rakes in the money from Philip Morris tobacco. Given that everyone concerned has behaved with total, fragrant integrity, that is a wonderful coincidence!

Admittedly Cameron did have a let-out: a letter from a Labour health minister saying there wasn't enough evidence in favour of plain packaging. But, as Miliband pointed out, Cameron himself had been in favour. To which Cameron replied: "If he is attacking me for not doing what he didn't want to do, then I suggest a different line of questioning."

Otherwise Cameron simply ignored the matter of discussions. He had not been lobbied, he said. I am not certain of the difference between chatting and lobbying.

I suppose lobbying might be: "Prime Minister, please don't introduce plain packaging! There are executives who might have to sell their third homes and racehorses!"

Chatting: "Mmm, before we discuss separate matters, can I remind you of the smooth yet manly taste of these Marlboro cigarettes? And let's not lose the iconic label, showing a beefy chap in chaps!"

Miliband kept asking. Cameron kept turning the conversation to Labour scandals and the Unite union. (Difference between Unite and Lynton Crosby: union represents millions of ordinary workers. Crosby represents big tobacco.)

The high spot for Tory backbenchers came when the raging, swirling, arm-waving, voice-peaking Cameron declared that every day the country was getting stronger, while every day Miliband was getting weaker! They went berserk with joy.

So huge was the excitement that Sir Peter Tapsell's jeremiad about the fate of the euro and the death of democracy in Europe went almost unnoticed, which in its way was as weird as Romans saying: "Oh, that Cicero, you can ignore him." Enditem